I Dig Your Soul

When I don’t love me the most I get scared that you won’t love me either When I love me the most I know you will be with me forever

I use to think of loving myself as selfish Then I use to think it was all in my ego to do that Then I realized when I was happy inside, selfish and ego weren’t an issue That I just wanted to spend time with you because I love you Again when I was happy

And then I wake up and I am not so sure how I feel And I take it out on you Accusing you of things that were OK the day before I found out when I am not happy, you will not be happy with me either As I try to take it out on you so I don’t have to face me

How do I love me? So that I can love you I was sitting on the floor one morning On my way to an important meeting And across from me was a mirror

I took a quick glance only to see myself sitting on the floor tying my shoe When I looked up, I didn’t see me, I saw a person, sitting on the floor, tying their shoe It was a weird moment, however I realized I WAS a person I stared at myself from a distance I realized I looked like the people I see, not the person I know

I started talking to myself I told myself, You have a big meeting today, I wish you well

When I said that I started to cry It felt so good to care about me Like the words of a dear friend I continued talking

As I cried, I said, I am going to take care of you my friend I am your friend I see you wake up everyday, rush to get ready, Yet I realized I never really see you at all

I am sorry I never looked I judge you so harshly And you are just making a way for yourself, What ever that is

I promise to do right by you From this moment forward I will understand when you don’t think you have done well that you have done your best And I also promise not to hurt you more with the words in my head that take away from me I will remind myself that you did your best and maybe it was not meant to be for you

I also promise that when things are going great to let you enjoy those moments for what they are A part of life that keeps you motivated to do the rest of it And I will remind myself that every purpose has a challenge and every challenge has a purpose And that we are a team, My Heart, My Soul and My Mind

I will do right by you, I will not let myself forget that you care and that I care As my Heart and Soul spoke to my Mind I realized still that I am one, yet at times there feels like there are two of me One that loves and one that is harder on me than anyone I know

I sat on that floor and saw myself new that day I got up and left feeling like I have a partner within myself That I can be whole and awake to my actions That I can do right by myself

And with that, that I understand what it means to do right by others too They ARE me and I AM them Just as I have the voice in my head that either cheers me on or stops me in my tracks Joining myself with myself, Gives me the path to join myself with you I can love you more when I know what it feels like to love me more

Love can only propel once it knows that it is there